Julie’s Tips on How to Drink All Day
I am writing this helpful guide for all those folks who plan to drink all day on this fine St Patrick’s Day! Please take it from me…I am a musician, therefore I am very experienced with this topic.
When you go out and start drinking at 10 PM, that is a sprint. You can start pounding shots and car bombs and it’s ok, since MD bars close at 2. If you are going out much earlier than that, it becomes a marathon and not a sprint. You must treat it differently. Slow and steady wins the race!
Have you ever been at a bar or party and been cornered by a girl who just can’t handle her liquor? After she spends 20 minutes ranting to you about cocktail napkins, she says “I love you. I mean it. I really do. No, I’m serious!!! Why are you looking at me like that? You’re a big meanie” and then proceeds to tell you her amazing napkin story all over again, as if you had never heard it before. Don’t be that person! Here is how to avoid becoming that ranting and repeating idiot:
-Eat. You know how little kids act at a party? They never want to take a minute to sit down and eat. Mom says “slow down and eat something” And the whiny kid says “No I’m not hungry!!” That’s what we become. We have so much fun and our bellies are full of beer so we’re not hungry. You have to eat. Actually, you have to eat all day for this to work. Eat heavy stuff all day long—chicken fingers, cheese steaks, pizza, burgers, etc.
-Water. Whenever you can, order a glass of water with no ice and just chug it. I know, none of us feel like sipping a freakin glass of water on St Patty’s Day. So just chug it. You’re saving yourself from a monster headache the next day. Do it for yourself!
-If you start to become a close talker and spit on people’s faces when you talk to them, you’ve had too much. Do you notice people wiping their faces after you talk to them? If so, order a glass of water and a cheeseburger.
-If you do not want to spend your day vomiting in a dirty bathroom or on the street, please consider following these tips. Anyone can drink all day, but not everyone can drink all day effectively and efficiently. You have the power to be a successful all-day drinker! I believe in you!